I have just started to go through the Kyle box at 3am. I have been reading letters for about an hour and I am only 1/5 the way through. I've been crying for most of the hour as well. He was such a wonderful writer. He was the eptimy of romance. His love letters still bring tears of happiness, well I should say they bring even more tears because of the bittersweet feelings now. I really hope that this journy of letters will open my eyes to something new. Already I am noticing some of his weakness that I suppose I ignored. I feel like he really needed me at that time. Both of us were in a low spot and we made each other an addiction in a way very similar to herion.

I'm home! It's great! It's luxary! Big bed, good food, clean bathroom. What more could a person ask for? Oh ya, and a loving mom! Oh and a great friend Teddy!

I have a few agendas: Spend time with mom, remember the happy times with Kyle, read a book about ADD to understand Scott better, enter scholarships, think about colleges to transfer to, relax, and mmmm eat lots!

Teddy, mom, and I were stuck in the mall parking lot today for 2 and half hours!!! That teaches us to shop on the last weekend before Christmas!

I almost feel as if I am visiting someone else's house. I guess that's because my mom has decorated the place a beautifully, and my room is a little different, and because I have been away. I think the house feels cozier now! I knew my mom could transform this place into what it is now. I can't wait to see her dive into her creativity more!

Teddy seems to be doing very well. She is busy in extracirrular activities that are interesting and she has a healthy relationship with a great guy. I just realized I really did miss her too. I'm might not get to see her again all break! :(

I am happy too. I missed my mom! And I miss Scott now; although my heart is not breaking like it did everytime Kyle was away from me. And I'm afraid to feel that deep attachment again. I want to have those highs with Scott, but I don't want to wrap my life around him. Perhaps there is away of doing both. Perhaps I'm being a coward.

Sorry there are many technical errors, but I am soooo tired!

I had the most typical college experience ever!! Tonight we had a meeting about checking out and so everyone was talking. Then Michelle dissappears for a few hours because she was hanging out with some guys she knows upstairs. Then 4 guys bust into our room (well the knock, we answer, then they all pour in). They had a bottle of rum and finish it off in our room. We finally kick them out with a lot of persuasion mostly because Michelle is getting annoyed with them. Then they run back in our room an hour later because they stole some higher quality rum from a girl's room who's door was open and she was in the bathroom puking. So they went upstairs and had a few shots and returned 20 minutes later. This time only two of them, and they were nicely buzzed. The first words out of one of them was we came down to say that you are cute (pointing at me) and you are err Michelle. They stayed until 4:30am!! Daniel kept saying (pointing to each person) you are cool, you are fucking smart, you are cute, and you are nice, but dorky. It was hilarous! My face hurts so much from laughing. Watching drunk people is a great spectators sport. TJ talked to one of my friends online, then Michelle's. Rubin was making everyone guess where he was from, using big words, and trying to psych the other drunk guys into submission with gross stories. Daniel was the worst of the lot and told me that I had cute toes, he had to work at 7am, and making the biggest ass of himself. Welcome to College.

Camping was fun! I smell like smoke now.
I registered for classes and I am taking 15 credits. Chemistry, Calculus I, Astronomy and Anthropology Though what's odd is that really I am taking more than 16 hours of class. So they lie!!!!

I played soccer last night! It was so much fun! I am really sore now, but it was worth it!!! I had forgotten how much fun it is!

new post?!

I'm going camping this weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There was still a spot open at Lehua Tower (the one Scott lives in). Camping in Hawaii! No coldness at night and no bears! I can't wait!!!! I'll take pictures there too.

I'm back from Maui!

I saw a lot and ate a lot. I saw the West Maui Mts, Lahahina (Maui's Wikiki), went to the top of Haleahkala (which almost got me car sick) and to the beautiful Iao Valley.
I ate Tailapa (fish), tiny clear fresh fish from the Phillipeans, and goat intestine soup.

Surprizingly there was cactus on the island! I also saw pineaple bushes, sugar cane, and banana trees. This is a big deal because yes I have been living in Hawaii for 3 months, but I live in the city. Hawaii's country sides is beautiful. It is a bit tropical, mixed with euclapitis trees, and a bit of Texas sky.

I'll put pictures up later once I develop them.