Well here's my lame excuse for not writting. I'm taking 16 credits of school, like 14 hours of work, not to mention the 'homework' from work, and still maintaining somewhat of a social life. But I should write in here more.

I think I have the flu. Life sucks.

Ok so here's the little things that have made life a little sweeter recently: Gigantic pizzia slices and tiny theaters, the perfect lunch, Halloween is coming soon, and a B on an essay that I wrote the night before it was due. :)

For those of you who know how much I love to argue, you can see why I got so much delight out of this website that I owe Tolly credit to directing me to. http://www.mil-millington.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/things.html

So this morning I woke up at 6am to make maple tofu and vegan cookies. Surprisingly, they were good.

I got the job!!!!! At Earthfoods! As a co-manager! :)

That's it. I've decided. I'm going to Texas Tech. Seriously, UT sucks anyways, and you can get a math degree ANYWHERE. There is such a shortage of teachers they really don't care where you got your degree, you can teach wherever. And plus, I'd be with Amanda. How much fun would that be? She is so the coolest person I've EVER know.... EVER.

Wheat Thins taste really good when over cooked.

Ok I'm here on my first college weekend and it's raining hard. So the annual Orchard Hill Bowl dance might be cancelled. I'm hungry, but am I hungry enough to eat dinner soaking wet? Maybe I'll steal some of my roomate's food and live off the vending machine... But here's the upside: 10 guys playing volleyball in the rain w/o shirts. :) I just realized how much it's going to suck to have to walk through snow to eat every meal and to go to class. Thank goodness they did away with out houses!
Sunday hopefully I'll be seeing Enter the Haggis, which is a great Irish band.
Appearantly 16 credits means a lot of homework. Everyday! Can you imagine?
Ok, I'm going to try to brave the light drizzle.

My math TA is on crack. He speaks and writes so fast and he asks if everyone understands, but he says it like, c'mon everyone should know this elementary math. Then my math proffessor has a thick Russian accent! And this is the hardest calc! *Warning: this will be a reoccuring theme in my journal for the next semester.*

Hmm...I should really pimp out my room. Shiny things and blinking things would look really good in here. Sara (new roomie) better get back soon before I decorate this place without her....
I'll take pictures and post them when I'm done.

Oh and I've got a wonderful roommate. She's kinda like Michelle: she actually studies. So she will be a good influence on me. (I've already skipped two classes!)

In no way did I endorse that last post. Damn hackers!

Anywho... I'm in Amherst again. I left Friday night to take my driver's test on Saturday in CT, but I couldn't take it because I didn't have all the paper work. So I missed the first weekend at college for nothing! It's Sunday and I'm bored.

First of all that last post was written by Amanda, and I did not endorse that message.
Second, I hate my building/floor!! All girls who don't want to talk to me or my roommate! They keep their doors closed and then last night someone told us to be quiet because we were talking too loud! And today is my first day of class and I am lucky that I know the subjects I have and at what times, because Spire is down and no one can see their schedule. And I won't be here this weekend to go to a party cause of that stupid drivers test I'll probably flunk anyway.

Disclaimer: That last post was written by Amanda, and in no way do I endorse her message.

I'm so excited!!! I'm going on a cruise with Amanda next August for our annual get-together!!! She's so cool, I can't believe I am lucky enough to be friends with such a snazzy lady. I mean, wow. She's just the best EVER. I should really tell more people about how freakin awesome she is. I'm off to do that.

I'm in Amherst.

The Financial Aid office is giving me a headache.We've sent our loan papers twice. Everytime I call the office it is busy. I've been calling several times a day for the past week, and I've never gotten through. And yet, I've recieved this message:
If your account remains outstanding and not cleared by September 8th,the first day of classes, your registration for the fall semester will be cancelled resulting in the loss of classes. If you planned to live in residence halls, you will also lose your housing assignment and meal plan.
So maybe I'll be going to school in the fall, and perhaps I won't.

Last night, I actually went out! I hung out with Dave and his friends at the pool hall and then Dave, his friend Steve, and I went dancing till closing time. It was great fun. But I swear hip hop music is sooo hard to dance to!
I'm loving my stay here, but I also can't wait to start school!

I got a job! It's just a temporary job, but it could be for 2o hrs/wk. I'll be working at the Textbook Annex!!

Auto response from FallingColors56: Me, a hammock, and a science mag, how could life get any better?
babyruthherridge: DORK.
IBeBurger: integral solving would probably make your life better
IBeBurger: NERD
Auto response from IBeBurger: Off not being a NERD

What are you guys trying to say?

All I ever talk about are my chores. But face it, that's what's on my mind most of the time. I've always have to be doing something. Looking for scholarships, looking for a job, working on homework, packing, fixing things, or planning the rest of my life.

Sometimes I wish I could really relax. I wish I could stay still enough to be creative, to create art, to create little stories inside my head, or to just enjoy the moment.

I'm back in the comfort of my snuggly home. My mom has really changed up the yard, she's really got a passion for this. It's really nice to be home again. I can't wait to see what UMass is like in the Fall. Oh, I finally signed up for classes! I'm taking an African American history class, Geology classes- most about environmental issues, Anthro class, French, and Calc II.

Ok, I'm going to be a rebel. Yes, my paper is not truely done to the best of my capabilites, but no I don't give a damn! I am going to waste time by writing in my journal! 3 Journals in one day! It's madness I know!

I hope all of you know that this journal exists just because I literally am too lazy to write emails to each one of you, so I do this. And it's a great place to ramble on and on, and to have the possibilty that someone might read it. It's thrilling.

Ramblings...
Has anyone else noticed that there are quite a few skinny white male English teachers who own purple shirts or odd shirts?

Damn my ambitious side. How am I suppose to have fun when I'm planning on taking 17 credits, working, and living in an all girls dorm! (Btw I didn't choose to live in an all girls dorm, they stuck me there)

I'm turning 19 in 10 days. I'm planning on going to Gotham Citi club with Dave. I'm looking forward to that, but I don't know if I'm going to survive long enough to enjoy that.

Writing that next 10 page paper is going to be hell. Writing in general is pure torture. I'd rather get a clitoris piercing than write a 10 page paper. I'd rather run five miles than write a 10 page paper. I'd rather stare at the ceiling for a week straight than write a 10 page paper. I'd rather drink a bottle of hot sauce than write a 10 page paper. I'd rather listen to Brittney Spears than write a 10 page paper. Am I making myself clear?

Ok, so I'll update. Although there's not too much to report. I've spent every waking hour for the past two days to write a paper that still isn't finished. I didn't even shower (yuck) because it would have taken too much precious time away from glueing my eyes to a computer screen and racking my brain. And this weekend I get to write another 10 page paper. So I'm just cranky and bitchy.

I go home either Aug 19 or 20th. And for any of you out there that read this thing (which I think is only 2 people) my birthday is Aug 22!

If I don't stop writing, all I'll write is my complaining.

Ah how I've missed ye internet! Your blinking banners and porn spam welcome me yet again.

Ok so I've joined the cult. I got a cellphone. I've got unlimited weekends, so maybe I'll actually call people.

Hard to update with no internet in my room.
Going to get a cell phone soon, so I'll be available for checking up on! yay. But it's easier than a phone card to call home. Hopefully going to see the Notebook today!!

So I'm in Amherst now. I've kinda moved into my dorm room. I still haven't unpacked fully. Scott has an apartment, but it's such a guy's place. And I do 5 hours of class at night/3days a week. And it's cold, rainy, and dark. I've been in a bad mood all day. I'm having a bad bad day. But it could be worse. I'm glad I have Scott here, and I have a very nice roomate from Korea.

So I'm off tomArrow. I'll be gone 2 weeks. First to Arkansas to visit my grandma and dad, then to Texas to see Amanda. When I come back I move to Amherst the same day (essentially). So it will be awhile untill I'm online again.

If you see the movie, here's an article to read. It points out some of it's flaws, but I also don't agree with everything it says. But it's good to see the other side of the issue. Let me know what you think!
http://slate.msn.com/id/2102723/

Go now. Go see Fahrenheit 9/11.

I so sorry that Teddy's bf broke up with her. But he kinda sounds like me when I broke up with Scott, so I have a good feeling that things will work out somehow in someway.

Scott left on Monday! :( I miss him already.

Wednesday I leave for Arkansas and Texas!!

As of right now I'm packing packing packing...the story of my life.

TomArrow it's my mom's and Scott's birthday! One turns 26 the other 55, guess which age belongs to who...
Scott is coming down tomarrow morning! I can't wait!!

I slept over Teddy's house last night. It was fun. We went shopping and hung around. I miss sleepovers.

I did not go to my driver's test, because I didn't feel prepared because I can't back up very well, plus I was still in MA.

Today was my first day at the Discovery room. It was soo much fun. I am definatly doing this next summer. I got to play running around peek a boo with a little boy. I watched children discover rocks and frogs and rabbit skins!

Yes its true, I'm falling hard for Scott. I know it's only been a week since I've seen him, and it will only be a week until I see him again, and then 4 weeks after that, but I miss him!

I don't think my life will be complete until I solve a murder mystery or until I've been chased by someone other than in the game tag.

What can I say? I'm crazy. I'm acting like a 14yr old as my mom said. I can't explain it. It just happened.

So I see Scott at the bus station, and he looks different. It took me awhile to figure out that it was his hair cut. He looks good. For the first couple of minutes it was awkward; I was also very tired so I wasn't very chatty. (and yes I realize that I'm switching tenses) He shows me his home town of Lexington, Massachusetts. Adorable, cute, charming!

When we get to his house I get to meet his younger sisters and his cat. Shortly after we are on the road to his family's farmhouse in the country of New Hampshire. During our mini road trip we talked and talked and sang to the radio. I began to realize how much I missed him.

I spent a whole week with him and I never got tired of him. In fact it rekindled my love for him. I can't believe I miss him now that I'm home!!

Tomarrow I go off to Scott's to spend a few days. I can't wait to work out our friendship! Oh and it will be the furthest north in New England I've ever been!

Friday I have my drivers test!! Wish me luck, cause I need it!!!

Ok so I'm a stealer of ideas...got this from Kate. Thanks Kate!



create your own personalized map of the USA
or write about it on the open travel guide

Photos are updated again.

Another nice hiking day. Not too much to say.

Oh and I'm probably going to be volunteering at the Yale Peabody Natural History Museum!!! I'm not too sure doing what, they had a lot of positions and they want me to do them all at the same time.... But they are assistant, scheduler, discovery room helper, and camp counselor. I would love to work at a museum!

Photos are updated!!

With my abounce of spare time, I took that quiz too. Oh and Amanda, your comments don't work!

You are DNA. You're a smart person, and you appear
incredibly complex to people who don't know
you. You're incomparably full of information,
and most of it is useless.


Which Biological Molecule Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

*Boring entry*
Wow, I would hate to be in prison. I don't know too many people who would love it but...staying at home like this is getting a little boring. I love the dorm life, and I never want to leave it! But I can't complain too bad, it's nice to be with my mom and have time to think. But I wish I had something to do. Hopefully one of these jobs will hire me so that I can work there 1 month!
I wish that I had more to report.

Scott and I are talking, and we are being friends; and I couldn't be more happy about that.

How am I going to keep myself busy and not lonely around here? I could always have imaginary friends and built forts with them...
Ok I'll stop complaining now.

I watched Road Rules and Real World Challenge for 4 hours today!!! They just keep coming on right one after each other. Just wait until Sunday: 4 Law n Order SVU episodes back to back!

SBC union workers are on strike, so my mom has to fill in answering phones, 12 hours a day Sat-Mon!

If I think of anything anyone would actually want to read, I'll write later.

Perhaps my mom will get a job in Dallas. Perhaps not.
Perhaps I'll take summer courses at UMass.
UT is my first choice, so should I try to go there in the spring? I'd like to go to a school for the full three years. It would suck to go to UMass for one semester then leave. Hmmm...

I have yet another email address: adahays@yahoo.com

Can you believe that I didn't pay the shuttle guy?!?!?! I stiffed TJ the bill by accident! I was so upset as I was leaving and the guy didn't remind me to pay!!!!!

Oh, and I broke up with Scott on our last night in Hawaii. My feelings for him are more platonic than anything else. And I really hope we remain friends and that I get to see him during the summer.

I'm back home now. Safe and sound and sad. I miss all of my friends sooooooo much!!!! I guess I should get busy so I don't think about it. Tomarrow I start looking for a job! I'll update pictures as soon as I find that damn cord. I also want to hike a lot this summer. I just need to find someone who will go with me...

After reading Amanda's blog, it got me all warm and fuzzy.
So I just wanted to say, I love all of you guys! When I talk to her nowadays, she reminds me of all that I have to be thankful for. And I am thankful for everyone in my life, thank you!

Overwhelming.
That's the word of the week. More than one girl friend I know has cried more than once each day of the week. That's pretty interesting. How often girls cry and it doesn't mean anything really, just letting a little steam out. I do it too, though I think my mom's mellowness has influenced me somewhat. Thanks! It's so draining to cry! Although it is definatly needed at times. I find that cussing a lot helps me, although I try to keep it to just inanimate objects. Or talking to myself outloud. The older I get, the worse that habit gets. Just wait until I'm 80!

It finally has hit me that I'm leaving. I'm getting in the moving mode. Seeing things in front of my face as if they are a memory.

Calculus final tomarrow, I'm excited!

So many things to do that have nothing to do with finals! I can't wait until next year when I'll be more settled in my next school. Although it seems I don't do that well when I know I'll be there for awhile, it just feels so unnatural.

Being a beach bum tomarrow!

Finals update...
Chemistry- eh, it was ok, a C is possible. It was hard.
Studied for Calc, and tomarrow I'm most likely studying all day for it aswell. yay. Atleast its kinda fun, cause it's math of course.

I've found a great way to study. Ya know how they put blinders on horses? Well a tent is a perfect place to get rid of distractions. I made a tent with my chair and blanket last night. It really helped. I don't think Hannah will want to crouch under a tent to study tomarrow tho...
I hope my roomate next year will be able to stand me. I like my cokes flat, so I shake, open it up, shake, open it up, shake.... And Michelle never yells at me for that! And she puts up with talking to a tent about chemistry.

Swallowtail Catastrophe Curves

So about two months after Kyle broke up with me, I met Brent. He seemed interested in me. We exchanged phone numbers and we talked on the phone a few times. Then he took me to a movie, I think it was Man Hunt. He was nice, even charming every once in awhile. I was considering asking him to prom. Then one day at school, he revealed his true nature. He was loud and obnixous. This wasn't the same quiet, even shy guy I had come to know. He wouldn't sit in his seat for more than two seconds in class. He tried cheating off of me. He asked me for gas money. I was getting pissed at him, and gave him five dollars in pennies. He got mad at me and didn't talk to me for a few days. What sweet relief that was! One day I told him off. And now he shows up at my door?

Speaking of creepy guys...
Brent came to my house today! He talked to my mom for awhile, gave her a hug, and gave her his phone number to give to me so that we could hang out this summer! I don't think so!! I thought I already told him off once! Why do my mistakes keep coming back to haunt me? For those of you who don't know who Brent is, I'll tell the story after I come back from studying.

Why do old creepy guys have to hit on me? Why can't a young cute guy hit on me?
This guy called about my bike, and then when I met him he kept asking stuff about me, and then asked if I wanted to see a movie with him!!! Yes you have a son who is my age, ya I'd really like to go on a date with you. Old creepy men please just leave me alone!

Happy Cinqo de Mayo! Celebration starts tonight!

Last day of classes!*sings to self and dances in the chair*

I'm free!....wait a minute, no I'm not... Damn finals and astronomy lab work!

If I'm not online much it's because I'm too busy hitting my head against a wall aka studying.

I'll pull some random question out of this paper/artwork thingy from the art gallery....

Do you like getting dirty from time to time?
How often do we hear about terrorist attacks undertaken by the US?
How often do you bleed?
Could you survive without electricity?
Do you malama ka'aina?

It's 10am and I should be asleep. I went to sleep at 5am, but as the rule goes (for me at least) if I go to bed late, I will ALWAYS wake up around 9am.

Last night I went to the Blue Tropix club. There were monkeys encased behind the bar! :( Poor poor monkeys. Kate and I arrived a little early, around 10:30pm. By 11:30 the place was "poppin". It took me awhile to get over my shyness on the dance floor. But once I got into it, dancing was fun. There was one thing I was not expecting. Ok, I knew that guys were going to try to dance with me. But I had no idea how forceful they were going to be about it. Some guys kept chasing me all over the dance floor, one guy backed off when he rubbed his ass at me and I laughed, another grabbed me from behind, kept looking down my shirt and wouldn't let go of my hands which scared me, and another took my hands and wrapped them around his neck and pulled me in and then picked me up! I'm never ever ever going to a club alone, and preferably I'd like to have a guy friend in the group too! Anyway, we left around 1am and went home. I was saturated with the smell of smoke. My shower didn't completely cleanse me. It's embedded in my skin and hair. YUCK! There were some cute guys there, but if they weren't smoking they would have been hot. Oh and there was one guy that didn't creep me out who was from Australia, which we talked about. So that was my big adventure. Naive Ada learns to carry mace with her at all times.

When I came home, I hung out with the guys until 5am, playing card games and channel surfing.

Excuse me while I become lazy...

Ok so Kate has been bugging me about updating this thing. So hmmm what shall I say?

School sucks cold boiled eggs!

I'm getting mysterious pains all over, I hope it's because I'm growing. I've also had a lot of hiccups, so I MUST be growing! (According to Michelle anyway)

I miss my puppies!

New email address: subtlesymphony@gmail.com
(3.14159 was taken, I'm serious!) Scott came up with that name, thank you! I still hear trumpets in the distance.

Kate is coming over tomarrow! I haven't seen her for forever!! I better buy a lot of ice cream...

My roomate has been asleep for a long time.

I'm addicted to Tenchu! Video games can be fun after all, if you can actually play it. Who knew?

I can't wait to see Amanda this summer!

I can't wait until final's week so the partying can start!!(And the crying)

I worked 6 hours by mistake. I thought that I worked from 3-6pm. But then when I asked an RA who was working after me, 15 minutes into the next shift, he told me that the girl I was filling in for works two shifts! So my plans of going to see a movie on the beach, were gone. But then later I found out that this other girl was suppose to work 6-9pm, but she forgot! It's ok, she's really nice so I'm not mad.

I just studied for Calc midterm for 6 hours! I'm all mathed out. This has been the most studious couple of days of my life. And I know it won't be my last. Just wait till finals!!

There was something else I was going to say, but I forgot.

Oh right, forgot to say, I'm back with Scott again. Ya short break up.

It's almost 2am, and I just can't study chem any more, I've learned a lot, but I just can't memorize this stuff right now. I still have a little time between class to go over it.

When will UT answer me?!?!?

My mind is busy, but my body is soo tired.

Saw Kill Bill vol 2 today! It was great!! I have to buy that! It's the kind of movie I could watch over and over. (I can't do that with most movies) I also went to a car show, and surprizingly that was fun. Execpt for loosing Rubin.

There are still some days I want to dress all in black and have an eyebrow ring. Most of the time I could care less what I'm wearing as long as it fits the weather and comfort and kind of easy on my eye.

Finals are drawing near! I'm actually going to study tons!
That also means my days here are dwindling. How sad. I'm going to miss my friends a lot. I just can't stay in one place longer than 3 years can I?

Scott when skydiving! He's afraid of flying in general, so I'm proud of him.

Oh and I'm one big klutz. I spilled V8 in TJ's room early on Saturday. (And I finally found another person who likes that) Then later that day I spilled water on Hannah's computer! And it doesn't work anymore. Getting a car is going to take even longer now. Oh well, I can live without one.

I can't wait untill midterms are over! I'm going to relax for a few days, then start studying for finals! Hopefully relaxing won't involve throwing up.

Well revenge has it's price. Saturday night Michelle and I found our room upside down. Beds upside down, tv and microwave way up on our wardrobes, clothes hanging from the lights, laptops hiding!!! Boy we're we pissed! They broke into our room! I've never heard Michelle cuss like that before!
But we've forgiven them now.

Photos are updated!!

I broke up with Scott yesterday. On our 5 month anniversary at the exact spot in which he asked me to be his girlfriend. Aren't I wonderful?
I broke up with him because I feel like I shouldn't be in a relationship right now. I feel too restless and immature.
I still love him though.
He didn't cry when I told him, because he said that breaking up won't intefere with our love. Needless to say I was taken aback by that and happily surprized. For the first time in my life I was crying and laughing.
So we'll see how things go...

Revenge is so sweet!
4 am we (Michelle and I) woke up to place flyers all over our floor and the guy's floor. TJ and Jayson woke up to syran wrap across thier door, and Josh woke up to pads on his door.
hehehehehehe

Pictures for the flyers on my photos
(for Josh)
Men, women, children, and goats if your looking
for a good time Call me!
Josh
957-2048

(for Jayson)
Ladies Man on the Loose
Hold on to your Girlfriends

(for TJ)
Say Happy Birthday to TJ:
And Don’t Forget his B-day Spanking

(for Rubin)
I want to be a Princess
Will you make my dreams come true?

I woke up this morning and opened my door to find a wall of newspaper. I have a pretty good idea of who did that. And if I were them, they should be scared.

I got into UMass Amherst!!!!

I went parasailing! It was so much fun. It wasn't even scary. It was like sitting in a chair 700ft above the ocean. You sit down with the harness and I was harnessed with Scott and you are lifted up. It was a cloudy day. I found it fun even when it swung around a little bit. I even saw a tail of a whale! I've added pictures so look again! Well... after I find the cable they wil be updated.

I think I want to try skiiing! And I'm going to practice skateboarding during the summer.

So I met Scott's dad today! He's a very traveled man! He was very interesting, and I'd say had a lot of characteristics that engineers are sterotyped into having. But I was soooooo nervous. I wasn't nervous at all for months when I knew he was coming, but the few minutes before I met him I got butterflies. I either didn't talk at all or said something wierd. I've never gotten so nervous before meeting someone's parents. He was very nice though, I don't think there was any reason to get nervous, but I did, and I'm still shaking from my nerves!!!

Its Saturday! I just don't know what to do with it, besides study that is.

I got my tarrot cards read yesterday! She said that I had been sick in the past, that I feel overwhelmed, but that I have love, support, and financial means to take a change in my life; that being stagntic is bad for me, and I will be successful and it will make me more independant. So it was kind of generic but it wasn't way off either.

I had a great Saturday! I went to the beach in the afternoon with Scott, walked around Waikiki, and ate at the Cheesecake Factory!! Such good food.

Tomarrow is Girl's Day!!

Ya I never heard of it either. It's a Japanese thing, but they celebrate it here as well. So all the boys have to be nice to us tomarrow!!

I've got a 59 in Astronomy!!! And that's one of the higher grades! I'm in the top 25% of the class!! Thats just not right.

When did I get a big butt? No, seriously! I was looking at myself in a skirt today and BAM there it was. I've never thought about it, but wow it's gotten bigger recently! I think this is why I can't fit into some of my shorts. I found it! I know where those extra 10lbs went!

Friday night was fun. Saturday morning is another story. I went to The Curry House for dinner with Scott. It was really good, but now Scott has the idea to eat 46g of rice under 20minutes. (A running competition at the resturant) I'll have to take pictures if he does. Then I went to TJ and Jason's room where TJ was torturing a poor lizzard with vodka. Then I went to see Love Actually (for free mind you) at the campus center. It was ok, but very sappy love movieish. B- Then I came back to my room to find TJ and Jason in it. They hung around for awhile, then Jason went to sleep. TJ however stayed around until 7am. Michelle threw shoes at him and we watched Finding Nemo. Fun was had. We were drinking vodka and Mountain Dew, which is a nice combo. I didn't listen to my stomache tho. So around 9.30am I puked. Lovely stuff.

I used to be great at getting myself out of boredom.
But then again I was six.
Rubber bands could amuse me for hours.

School is boring.

Eating ice cream makes me sick.

Sleeping gives me sore muscles.

Periods seem to last for ev er!

What to say? I don't know. Stuff.

I might go to a club Friday night. Or I might watch Love Actually on campus.

Ummm cashews are addictive, just like Cherry Garcia ice cream.

Oh and Way to go Mom! for wining $300 at the lottery. Treat yourself.

How much is insurance for a car? Roughly? (Trying to save up)

Yay chain rule. It's such a bitch.

I checked out a book about how to start your dream business.

I'm scared I'm not going to have any pills on Monday and I'm going to have to take Claritin every 4hrs, even though its completely against the directions.

Tonight Friends is on! Only 4 more episodes!

I downloaded an episode of Northern Exposure!

I'm bored.

I had a great Valentines Day!
Scott and I wen to A Taste of Sagon for dinner. It was really good!
He pulled himself out of the doghouse very well.
He surprized me by coming over to my dorm with red roses, 2 Liter bottle of Coke, and cauliflower!
(You see they only have Pepsi on campus, and I prefer Coke. And cauliflower is one of my favorite vegetables, and it is his least favorite)

Last night, Michelle and I had a really nice talk, about everything. We talked for 2 hours! Which is a lot. Not that we are unfriendly with one another, but I'm not here that much, and when I am we are both doing our own thing.

I was a walking advertisement today. I wore a sign taped to my chest, and I held ton of balloons and flowers. I was trying to sell them for the E-club. I was a bad seller. I didn't feel right going up to people pressuring them to buy stuff.

It's sooooo quiet in here! Michelle studies sooo much that I feel bad if I make a noise. She's still a wonderful roomate and all.

Okay so I admit I've been arrogent. In astronomy everything has been review so I haven't been reading or paying attention to the details, so my grades aren't as high as they should be. BUT this teacher is an ass!!! He boosts his ego at the expense of his student's educations. I don't come to class to be humilated. Does he honestly think embarrassement is the best way to encourage learning? He won't answer questions, but when he does he'll make you feel like an idiot. This is college, I didn't think that he was going to ask us what we know when we obviously don't know it. And for god sake...what kind of teacher rewards someone for not cheating, with embarrassement?

What happened to me today was this.....I've been bored out of my mind in class because it is all old news for me, but the ONE day he asks ME a question, I don't know the answer.

Thank god this school lets the students do an end of semester evaluation of the teachers! I'm am going to really let him have it! I hope he gets a good long talking to.

I find that recently I've been looking at the small picture too much and that's why I've been getting so frustrated. I think I read the same thing in Amanda's blog. I'd like to step back and look at things from the bird's eye view. It's been hard to find the time to think about anything other than "Do I have any homework?, Did I do my laundry?, Oh god I need sleep, Did I eat properly today?, Where the fuck is my keys?, I'm running late again, When will she shut up? I'm getting another pimple!"

In a week it will be a year anniversary of when Kyle broke up with me. It doesn't seem that long ago, but yet I know that I've moved so far away from where I was. (And no I don't mean just geographically....I know what all you jokester are thinking)

I need to listen to music more. Please leave suggestions of bands or songs for me to listen to! (And I'll look at Amanda's blog to see the bands that I know that she's mentioned to me, but it's kinda gone in one ear and out the other, sorry!)

I feel bad for Michelle. Everyone I know and everyone she knows won't be here next year. This place is a bus station.

Today I had one of the worse headaches I've had in years. I got up from bed and reached into my drawer to pull out a bowl. I felt something on my hand, when I looked down there was a lizzard! I screamed my head off. It was the last straw of the day and it took all of my energy. How do I explain this? I layed my head down and realized how something so insignfigant upset me so much. I guess it's happening to me because I've never been this busy before in my life. (Even though compared to some, it's not that busy) I need to become one with nature again. Sitting outside, observing or mediting outside reminds me of the beauty of life, the connectedness, and the grand scheme of things. I need to start my transcendental trail.

Ah now I remember why I have this thing....to bitch and moan.

I have a sinus headache, there is lawnmowers outside, I can NEVER catch up on sleep! I feel like the walking dead!!!!! I haven't slept in, in weeks. I haven't gone to bed before midnight in a long time. And I have to catch up on chem. I have class in an hour, then e-club meeting an hour and a half after class, then another 1.5 hrs after that I have astronomy lab till 10!!!! I still have to take a shower, eat, and do hw. Somebody shoot me!

Hmmmmm my dad hasn't written back.....I wonder what he is thinking! ( I told him about Scott)

New job is going great! It's a piece of cake. I even got so bored I called up my own roomate! I live with her everyday, but yet I felt the need to see how her day was going.

I am going camping again this weekend!

Oh and Scott's spanish class is in the same room as my math class, but an hour earlier. So when I went to class today, I saw on the board, 'Scott loves Ada'! hehehehehe

So I'm doing pretty good on my diet, been faithful for nearly a week now. That's a long time for me.

I got a job! At the front desk of one of the dorm towers! It's only three hours, but hey it's better than no money. Plus it's a really easy job and I can still do homework while I'm on the job!

Now I have a problem though. I just got the job for the library as well. I hope she doesn't want me to work during those hours that I just hired for the desk job! Plus I'd have to work 10hrs at the library, and they are not flexiable at all. So I'd be working 13 hours and I have a large load of school work....so hmmm I have no idea. Maybe if I got really organized I could do it. And I also want to see friends and Scott sometime. So like I said, I have no idea.

I'm about as ready as I can be to go back to college!! This was a nice visit. I loved that I spent so much time with my mom and I got closer to a friend. But on the other hand it was a lot like those summers where you enjoy grocery shopping because it was something to do.

I am renewing my vows. To loose weight that is. This time I mean it!!

Today I visted UMass Amherst. I was afraid that it was going to be in the middle of nowhere and be planted in a ghost town. However, I was pleasantly surprized. The town of Amherst was very cute. I counted 5 bookstores just on its main street! And there is a bigger town near by with a mall. The campus was refreshingly green. However I wasn't enjoying my visit too much because I was freezing my ass off. The college maybe in another state, but it only took us 2 hours to get there.

I am applying to tons of places this spring, so this summer I'll have a tough decision to make.

Haven't written in here in awhile. So I'm a little bored without too many friends around. But it is a good time to do all the things that I've been meaning to do.

I miss Scott! He's my little piece of Sunshine cake.

Ummm Merry Chirstmas and Happy New Year?

I have just started to go through the Kyle box at 3am. I have been reading letters for about an hour and I am only 1/5 the way through. I've been crying for most of the hour as well. He was such a wonderful writer. He was the eptimy of romance. His love letters still bring tears of happiness, well I should say they bring even more tears because of the bittersweet feelings now. I really hope that this journy of letters will open my eyes to something new. Already I am noticing some of his weakness that I suppose I ignored. I feel like he really needed me at that time. Both of us were in a low spot and we made each other an addiction in a way very similar to herion.

I'm home! It's great! It's luxary! Big bed, good food, clean bathroom. What more could a person ask for? Oh ya, and a loving mom! Oh and a great friend Teddy!

I have a few agendas: Spend time with mom, remember the happy times with Kyle, read a book about ADD to understand Scott better, enter scholarships, think about colleges to transfer to, relax, and mmmm eat lots!

Teddy, mom, and I were stuck in the mall parking lot today for 2 and half hours!!! That teaches us to shop on the last weekend before Christmas!

I almost feel as if I am visiting someone else's house. I guess that's because my mom has decorated the place a beautifully, and my room is a little different, and because I have been away. I think the house feels cozier now! I knew my mom could transform this place into what it is now. I can't wait to see her dive into her creativity more!

Teddy seems to be doing very well. She is busy in extracirrular activities that are interesting and she has a healthy relationship with a great guy. I just realized I really did miss her too. I'm might not get to see her again all break! :(

I am happy too. I missed my mom! And I miss Scott now; although my heart is not breaking like it did everytime Kyle was away from me. And I'm afraid to feel that deep attachment again. I want to have those highs with Scott, but I don't want to wrap my life around him. Perhaps there is away of doing both. Perhaps I'm being a coward.

Sorry there are many technical errors, but I am soooo tired!

I had the most typical college experience ever!! Tonight we had a meeting about checking out and so everyone was talking. Then Michelle dissappears for a few hours because she was hanging out with some guys she knows upstairs. Then 4 guys bust into our room (well the knock, we answer, then they all pour in). They had a bottle of rum and finish it off in our room. We finally kick them out with a lot of persuasion mostly because Michelle is getting annoyed with them. Then they run back in our room an hour later because they stole some higher quality rum from a girl's room who's door was open and she was in the bathroom puking. So they went upstairs and had a few shots and returned 20 minutes later. This time only two of them, and they were nicely buzzed. The first words out of one of them was we came down to say that you are cute (pointing at me) and you are err Michelle. They stayed until 4:30am!! Daniel kept saying (pointing to each person) you are cool, you are fucking smart, you are cute, and you are nice, but dorky. It was hilarous! My face hurts so much from laughing. Watching drunk people is a great spectators sport. TJ talked to one of my friends online, then Michelle's. Rubin was making everyone guess where he was from, using big words, and trying to psych the other drunk guys into submission with gross stories. Daniel was the worst of the lot and told me that I had cute toes, he had to work at 7am, and making the biggest ass of himself. Welcome to College.

Camping was fun! I smell like smoke now.
I registered for classes and I am taking 15 credits. Chemistry, Calculus I, Astronomy and Anthropology Though what's odd is that really I am taking more than 16 hours of class. So they lie!!!!

I played soccer last night! It was so much fun! I am really sore now, but it was worth it!!! I had forgotten how much fun it is!

new post?!

I'm going camping this weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There was still a spot open at Lehua Tower (the one Scott lives in). Camping in Hawaii! No coldness at night and no bears! I can't wait!!!! I'll take pictures there too.

I'm back from Maui!

I saw a lot and ate a lot. I saw the West Maui Mts, Lahahina (Maui's Wikiki), went to the top of Haleahkala (which almost got me car sick) and to the beautiful Iao Valley.
I ate Tailapa (fish), tiny clear fresh fish from the Phillipeans, and goat intestine soup.

Surprizingly there was cactus on the island! I also saw pineaple bushes, sugar cane, and banana trees. This is a big deal because yes I have been living in Hawaii for 3 months, but I live in the city. Hawaii's country sides is beautiful. It is a bit tropical, mixed with euclapitis trees, and a bit of Texas sky.

I'll put pictures up later once I develop them.